Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny Review

Mild spoilers follow.. you’ve been warned.
TLDR: I liked it, I’ll of course preorder it as soon as I can and I’ll probably see it in Theater one more time. It isn’t perfect, though and as they say: I have notes.

Just to level-set and address the most common comparison: I hated Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; until I didn’t. In recent re-watches Crystal Skull actually changed my mind about that film. I rather enjoy it, now. Crusade and Raiders battle for my number 1 ranking and the rest vary by mood, including this new installment, I suspect.

Driving home from seeing Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny, I had a smile on my face. That is: right up until we found the Wallace Tunnel on I-10 in Mobile, Alabama was closed forcing a detour through downtown Mobile. In my opinion the downtown Mobile street layouts are more “gardened” than “engineered.” They just sort of happened over time, less as a result of planning and more out of a protracted timeline of necessity, repair and expansion.

This, I think might be an apt metaphor for about my first impressions of Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny.

Mobile isn’t my favorite place to visit. In many ways it is like its sister city, New Orleans. Parking is a pain, traffic is a consistent problem. There are million dollar homes with historical marker plates within a block of derelict shanty flop-houses. On any given night you have equal odds of an adventurous good time with colorful characters or becoming a crime statistic. In fact, you could almost imagine finding Indy in a back alley brawl or Delta River boat chase over information leading to some ancient relic from early Spanish occupation..

Right before we came onto the tunnel, still smiling, I told my wife:

“You know, that might be my least favorite Indiana Jones movie.”

I need to see it again to settle on a final ranking but just because Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny isn’t my favorite Indy movie doesn’t make it a bad film or even a bad final outing for Indy. From my top 5 flavors of Ice Cream, even the fifth ranked Ice Cream can hit the spot on a hot summer day. So did this last outing with Harrison Ford once again donning the fedora and whip in search of fortune and glory (or perhaps just closure and reconciliation).

As an Indy fan I’m inclined to defend this movie from the click-bait troll reviews that apparently make a living throwing shade at Lucasfilm and Disney leadership and made their collective minds up about this film a year ago before it was even in the can. By contrast, I write here from my phone in meeting-boredom and in organization of my own thoughts and could care less if another human ever reads it. These people don’t need me to defend their choices, so I’m honest and my opinions are my own.

I like the Archimedes prop (alot, obviously) and the fetch-quest was cool. I even like Archimedes as a historical truth-finder similar in some ways to Indy. The Leads were fine. Indy was: Old-Ass ropey-but-strong and still-very laconic and wry Indy. Helena was a perfectly fine roguish co star, maybe a little hyperactive but a fine reflection of modern audiences in contrast to Indy’s pre-adderall generation.

Mild Spoilers

Ford is always great as Indy, even at this age. I suspect this is more that Indy is a facet of Harrison Ford’s personality than a character he’s actually playing. The horseback scene shown in the trailers is thrilling and the de-aged Indy sequence at the beginning is great. The de-aging tech still isn’t perfect but it also isn’t distracting, though don’t look too closely at the eyes. Eyes are still hard: being the window to the soul and all.

Mads Mikkelsen was great, liked seeing Antonio Banderas too.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge and not-Short-Round were fine ensemble cast members.

Though, I don’t think the film does a great job of making either character like-able. Early in the film Helena leaves old-man Indy in a way that earlier films would have rewarded with an insta-Karma booby-trap to the face. For the Teddy defenders out there: How would you feel if Short-Round killed people? Teddy murders a fool. Dude was a nazi and had it coming but still!? The modern story aesthetic Vis-à-vis the quality of human life doesn’t really map well here, in my opinion. I want my kid side-kicks to be edgy lovable scoundrels but Teddy? This makes Teddy too hardcore as a sidekick in my view. I’m just sayin’ that if Teddy’s hanging around my NYC apartment, I’m not leaving him alone with the pets.

FWIW: My daughter really liked Helena’s character and style, so this might just be curmudgeonly 44 year old values talking.

If I’m honest most of the things that make this a good film and not a great film probably happened in the editing bay or might be the result of a last-minute restructure to the original script despite conflicting rumors on the subject. There are some odd ADR lines where a character is talking but apparently via ventriloquist skills because their mouth isn’t moving. The story structure is a little muddied too in that Archimedes’ Dial comes in three parts and you’d expect those parts to map cleanly over a three-act story structure. Instead, the final part - the little compass-like-whatcha-ma-call-it in the center of the dial just sort of “happens” without detailed explanation or much in the way of fanfare.

Mangold and the DP borrowed enough of the Indy style in terms of color palette and set-design and John Williams score does plenty to make this feel like a real Indiana Jones movie but some of the classic Spielberg hip-shots, shadows and framing are missing. ( Level-set, again: I’m not a Spielberg-only Stan - I hate what he did to Ready Player One) Some of the shadows and silhouettes are there but they aren’t allowed to breath. The camera pans and transitions also fail to evoke the old-timey Republic serials that are hallmarks of the franchise. There is a travel sequence. It was updated and probably shouldn’t have been.

Mostly, the pacing is a little odd. The middle of the movie had my eyes wandering from the screen. I feel like the transition through the third act resolution to the finale was rushed and left me a bit disoriented. It wasn’t a fatal flaw but I think in time this transition from the third act pinnacle to the finale will be divisive, maybe even an object lesson. The “Nuke the fridge” of story transitions.

Ultimately I like where they left it, the final scene was touching and nostalgic and worked for the characters.. and I’m happy to get one more outing from Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones. Go see the movie.

Star Trek Picard Season 3

I previously let my disappointment in some of the modern Star Trek offerings known in what I think was a pretty fair set of opinions.

Picard Season 3 is…. great. Not just great for Star Trek or great by comparison to the cookie cutter sludge factory of streaming television. Its an excellent show, especially if you are a TNG or DS9 fan.

How to summarized this without spoilers…Allegory? Metaphor? I’m not sure that I know the difference..

Imagine you go to a party where most of your pet peeves are on display.

There’s nowhere to park. The music is horrible; flapping its way through a separated speaker on a rattling shelf and filling the room - somehow both too shrill and too thump-y. The annoying and obnoxious close-talking guest that won’t let you get a word in edge-wise and keeps you cornered for the majority of the night. Someone’s snotty teenager keeps going back to the food-table after having sneezed on all of it during his 2nd-and-3rd trips to get at probably: bacteria-infested deviled eggs.

There is more than one Miller-light intoxicated redneck wearing Let’s Go Brandon attire and spoiling for a fight about something. There is more than one liberal-arts major hipster wearing a Rainbow Che Guevara shirt high on edibles and reeking of Body Odor that wasn’t within the masking ability of their homemade soap.

The Business Chads, sales-guy types are in the corner talking about their investment portfolios and island-hopping vacations between bursts of boisterous but totally unconvincing laughter. At least one of them will eat a bullet before Christmas.

Then, on the last 1/3 of the evening it all turns around.

You reconnect with an old close friend from school and their delightful new spouse. You didn’t realize they’d moved nearby and you have a blast catching up, even make plans for coffee or drinks after work next week. While you were sequestered away talking about bygone years the rednecks passed out, the close talker realized he had dog shit on his shoes the whole night and goes home. The hipsters are couch-locked in amazement at the LEDs flickering over the pool and two of the Business Chads are filing out insurance paperwork: apparently one of the Karen’s backed into their new Mercedes, which was a Lease. Even the music and food improved as a Taco truck operator sees the crowd and decides to set up for service.

This, in a nutshell is Star Trek: Picard. Season 3 is a great TNG outing and it does the rare thing of improving the seasons that came before it by firing a concentrated tachyon beam of STTNG nostalgia right into your eyeballs. To say it sticks the landing is an understatement.

I get it though: if you can’t endure Seasons 1 and 2, then just read their synopsis and skip right to the good part of the party. The tacos are worth it.

Stranger Things Season 4

Stranger Things Season 4 dropped this weekend. It. IS. GREAT.

Mild spoilers in the form of context-less stills below. If you are severely spoiler averse, come back after you’ve seen Season 4a (up to Episode 7).

                                  88 88                        
                                  "" 88                        
                                     88                        
,adPPYba, 8b,dPPYba,   ,adPPYba,  88 88  ,adPPYba, 8b,dPPYba,  
I8[    "" 88P'    "8a a8"     "8a 88 88 a8P_____88 88P'   "Y8  
 `"Y8ba,  88       d8 8b       d8 88 88 8PP""""""" 88          
aa    ]8I 88b,   ,a8" "8a,   ,a8" 88 88 "8b,   ,aa 88          
`"YbbdP"' 88`YbbdP"'   `"YbbdP"'  88 88  `"Ybbd8"' 88          
          88                                                   
          88                                           

(in portrait mode - that renders wrong but I’m not going to change the whole site template for one ascii gag)

I’ll be somewhat vague on details here so as not to spoil specific plot elements, though these stills may reveal story and character beats.

Bias up front: I was a kid in the 80’s, from Indiana. Stranger Things is high-grade, pure-cut nostalgia crack for someone like me.

Stranger Things Season 1 was an incredible achievement. In many ways it kicked off an entire genre of nostalgia-bait lookalike projects that often fell flat. In my opinion, Seasons 2 and 3 did a good job at character work, delivered some entertaining moments but lacked some of the thrill of the essential mystery of the first season. There is a formula to it and the formula gets to be pretty obvious.

That formula usually looks something like this:

Hey, Remember the 80s? -> Characters Pair off and Adventure -> Eleven screams and force-chokes a portal -> Roll Credits and Synth Track.

Despite my love for the material I have to admit I’ve been giving my Netflix subscription the stink-eye lately. The subscription cost keeps creeping up while the utility and entertainment we get from Netflix keeps falling. I often see Netflix properties as Great-Value Brand knock-offs of better shows. They’ve hooked me and cancelled several series without providing adequate closure. To the point that I’m often hesitant to engage with newly buzzing series; defense against future rug-pulls.

As of episode 7, Stranger Things Season 4 is an incredible outing for the series. If they stick the landing, it may be the best yet. Netflix spared no expense, spending an average of $30 million per episode and it shows. After watching the series, I’m going to cut that Netflix subscription some slack.

The show continues to do an incredible job of period-accurate set pieces and scenarios. Drawing inspiration from classic 80’s movie, television, music and culture. Not just in subject matter, either. The Duffers continue to nail the aesthetic.

I always appreciate a good period film (Chernobyl, for instance) and Stranger Things excels at this by leaning into period-accurate sets. The video rental store is a really nice touch.

Some of the techno-babble stretches credibility for 1986 tech. “IP-Geolocation” is mentioned. NSFNET was live in 1986 and used early TCP/IP implementation through fuzzball routing but there were only 6 nodes and (probably) no meaningful interconnect between NSFNET & ARPANET-MILNET. I mean, famously the ICBMs control silos still used 8” floppies in 2014. Hopefully that EM shielding on the silo control bunkers is top-notch.

(Pushes up my nerd glasses...) But, I digress…

The episodes are biggie-sized, coming in at an hour or more per episode. The pace feels right and the show never felt like it was running out the clock. It is refreshing to see a show take the time it needs. “Good, Fast or Cheap - Pick 2” We got great, long and expensive and I’m here for it.

Season 3 wrapped towards the end of the 2018 and Season 4 was protracted and delayed b/c of COVID-19 impacts on the industry. In terms of casting there have been valid concerns that the extra four years of real time would strain believability in such young characters. Through lighting, make-up, costume, practical effects and shot-framing the production crew did a great job of accounting for the actors ages. Millie Bobby Brown is a charming young lady these days but they make use of story-grounded reasons to dress her in ways that obscure her age. Through loose-fitting hand-me-downs or other scene-appropriate costuming, you forget that she’s 18 now. It doesn’t hurt that MBB is an incredible performer. At the extreme, Charlie Heaton is 28. Some of Heaton’s IRL pharmaceutical shenanigans have diminished his youthful appearance. The writers lean into that in a clever and fun way to even make Jonathan’s age believable. Joe Keery (Steve) is 30 but has a Toby Maguire thing working for him.

This season nods to classics like Nightmare on Elm Street, Carrie, Evil Dead, Amityville, Munsters, IT and much more. Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) even plays a Character named Victor Creel. Despite the influences, the story never feels like a cheap knock off. The writing on this show is expertly crafted and character moments are interwoven brilliantly. Be warned though, this season leans more into horror territory than the Goonies-esque adventure start of the franchise. If you get easily squicked out by body horror, you may not enjoy this ride. It never feels gratuitous, though - the point of the horror is to establish the stakes.

The light and sound design of this season are incredible. At times, the audio-video experience here is downright visceral and almost always in service to the story. Lighting is usually period-appropriate with incandescent warm glow. Computer monitors and TV’s usually have scan-lines. Though, I suspect they may actually be LCD/LED panels installed in old chassis with black borders and a filter to produce edge distortions. The sound design makes great use of ambient hums and electrical clicks to bring extra intensity and to highlight “power up” moments. They often lean into practical effects and the attention to detail is quite remarkable. There are some digital-de-aging shenanigans on display and they usually work quite well. Clever cuts between old-vs-young keep shots from lingering too long on de-aged subjects and do a good job of hiding the uncanny valley of video-game-like faces.

Shot-blocking and composition are particularly inventive this season. There are some outstanding scene transitions, also in service of the story and designed to clue to viewer into plot details. Thematically, there is a two-sides motif that is often aided by the rotational transitions between Hawkins and the Upside Down. Low camera angles can establish hero shots or be used to put the viewer into the perspective of a child and they use this brilliantly. They often lean into zoom shots instead of dolly works, the zoom-pulls and pushes being a staple of 80’s horror.

The soundtrack is very good - and you guessed it: also services the story. You’ll notice Kate Bush climbed the iTunes chart to Number 1 this week in part thanks to in-story use of one of her songs.

The show explores the 80’s Satanic Panic and Parental overreaction. It also explores Bullying and the “Other-ification” of people, conformity and demagoguery. These things could be mirror-allegories for modern times but the Duffers are here to entertain, not preach - and it all lands without being overbearing.

Honestly, after a month or so of force-feeding my eyeballs some truly laughable modern content: I found Stranger Things Season 4a to be a brilliant and refreshing departure. The writing is excellent, the old characters are even better and new characters really hit the spot. A new character, Eddie - immediately became one of my favorites. Argyle and his not-quite mystery-machine van are a nice addition, as well.

Much like the Purple Palm Tree Delight, Stranger Things Season 4 is a real treat.

Two great podcasts to check out:

As always, I’m a big fan of the guys over at Bald Move:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dungeons-and-demogorgons-a-stranger-things-podcast/id1296708934

The Streaming Things Podcast is also quite entertaining:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/streaming-things-a-stranger-things-podcast/id1291620241

Free Guy

Free Guy manages to strike that balance of incorporating Studio-note-driven obligatory action set-pieces and storytelling for storytelling’s sake. The movie is fun, it has heart and it looks fantastic. In my opinion, Free Guy succeeds where the Ready Player One film attempts failed in adapting video game derived material towards a general audience.

Jodie Comer plays a programmer-turned gamer-investigator named Millie in Free City; a not-very-subtle nod to the Grand Theft Auto franchise. Following a casual interaction between Comer and Ryan Reynold’s Guy (an NPC), Guy becomes self-aware. The plot is advanced through the investigation of a mystery grounded in corporate greed, betrayal and hubris as Guy works to level up within the game by playing the normally violent game as a White Hat player.

As a fan of Reynolds, this movie pitches right over the plate for my expectations on humor and action. Joe Keery’s (Steve from Stranger Things) performance as a support debugger / programmer is really quite good and Jodie Comer brings a ton of charm to Millie’s character. Taika Waititi’s take on a douchey-dot-com tech billionaire is inspired.

The movie actually tells a good story with a decent moral. It is funny, stays pretty “safe”: it is definitely a family-friendly faire. Most surprisingly, the movie manages to have some heart. I found myself engaged with the characters through an ending that .. works.

I give it 4 out of 5 quarters.

Matrix Resurrections

I give Matrix Resurrections 1 out of 5 quarters.

When our only local Dolby Atmos / 4k Laser movie house announced that they’d be relegating this Matrix release to their 2k screens, I suspected this movie would disappoint. The first two times I watched it (in 4k w/ Dolby Atmos but at home) I was fighting a case of pinkeye-related light sensitivity. I walked away hating… no.. resenting this movie but suspected maybe it was on account of watching it through squinted eyeballs.

All healed up, I watched it a final time. Still don’t like this movie.

The beginning gave me hope. It was great seeing Reeves and Moss back in these roles. During the first Act, I can’t help but think of the ST:TNG episode “Frame of Mind” and the “is this a dream, am I going mad?” emotional thrill ride that Riker experienced. I warmed up to all of the meta-stuff in the first Act of this Matrix installment hoping they’d do something interesting with the Thomas Anderson: Make him question his own sanity and leave the viewer’s wondering: “Was this all a dream?”

During the second Act, I enjoyed the new cast members more than I expected but the third act was mostly a mess and to me, failed to deliver a good story.

Pros

Opening Shot: Puddle, Reflection & Distortion - Nice!
Seeing Neo and Trinity again is a Treat
The new cast was better than I feared
Not properly explaining Neo’s lack of abilities
Doogie Howser as a Villain I dig it, NPH is a fine actor.
Swarm Mode: Neat Horror Visual

Cons

Distracting misuse of “modal” concept.
Smith doesn’t use the “Mr. Anderson” callout enough.
Homeless Merovingian? WWHHHHYYY!?!
Swarm Mode: A bit much.
Not properly justifying Trinity’s power levels in relation to Neo
Closing Fight Gag with NPH
Out-tro to a horrible cover of Wake Up.

Ultimately, The Matrix Resurrections wasn’t the worst thing I’ve seen recently but it also failed to live up to the hype. That (more than bullet time, even) appears to be the legacy of The Matrix sequels. The first installment was such a well told story with well executed cinematography, stunts & character beats that it has become an impossible act to the follow.

Mortal Kombat (2021 Movie)

Spoilers, if you’ve never played Mortal Kombat 1,2,3 or 4 and never seen the original Mortal Kombat (1995) movie.

First 7 Minutes (Free!)

In keeping with good cocaine dealer traditions, HBO Max released the first 7 minutes of Mortal Kombat for free as a promo to drive subscribers.

It is in this 7-minute cold-open that you are introduced to [some dude with a Samurai hair bun] and his cute idyllic family. It is at this point that [some bi-lingual dude in a more sensible haircut] wrecks shop at [samurai guy]’s house.

[Sensible Haircut w/ an Ice Fetish] and [Samurai Guy w/ Avenging Garden Trowels] face off and at the end of the sequence you might start to think:

“Oh, shit - they’ve really laid out a Punisher-style revenge plot here between these guys. I should rewind and catch their names.”

Don’t be silly.

In Universe Contrivances & MacGuffin’s

People with the Mortal Kombat logo mark are chosen-champions to represent earth in Kombat.

Except that normies inherit the champion mark by killing someone that already has one.

Arcana is the supernatural power(s) of a Mortal Kombat fighter. I believe it also means family? :/

Outworld wants some of those sweet-sweet EarthRealm resources. Like, plastic surgery, I’m guessing. The bad guys are winning by cheating, so a rag-tag group of unconnected fighters must team up, find their Arcanas and whip ass to stave off the apocalypse.

In order of Appearance..

Raiden is there doing Raiden things. This guy is an upgrade from Christopher Lamberer / Highlander as Raiden in the 1990’s flick. He doesn’t much in the way of fighting in this one and I’d like to have seen him kick more ass.

Cole Young is a (yawn) is a prize fighter that gets beat up a lot. Two make one of these drinks, you mix 1-part Brandon Lee with 1-part Daredevil’s Dad. Sprinkle in a wife or sister and daughter or niece to taste for motivation. For his power up you mix 1-part Colossus with 1-part C-3PO and two police batons. Cole is the main viewpoint protagonist of this story but I spent a distracting amount of time waiting on him to turn-into someone I recognized from the game. He never did.

Jax (Just Jax) is an immediately likable dude with Rock-sized, non-robotic arms early in the game (ermm, movie..) He’s a vet, he’s a hero and he’s a competent fighter. I like the character he turns into by the end of the film.

[Sensible Hair Ninja] from flashback cold intro aka Sub Zero is a ridiculously overpowered character, just like in the games. In addition to the ability to create ice sheets on the ground and ice-walls in closed spaces, throw ice balls he is a brutal fighter and master explainer of the obvious by saying “I am Sub Zero.”

Sonya Blade is introduced in her junkyard/mobile home bat-cave by showing Cole her Carrie Mathison style red string magazine cutout conspiracy board revealing the existence of the other realms and the stakes of the Mortal Kombat tournament. I actually like this version of Sonya way more than any other I’ve seen in film and game. She’s got the lady-balls to show herself as a competent fighter.

Kano carries the 1st Act with his snarky remarks and Kano shenanigans. Getting to see his fatality is always a plus. His remarks opposite of Kung Lao are worth a chuckle. The fact that he gets his power (laser eye) through a temper tantrum over someone passing an egg roll at dinner is….an interesting choice.

Reptile gets a makeover from pallet-shifted ninja to something more animal like. Just like the game, his invisibility and acidic saliva are alot to overcome.

Shang Tsung is pretty milk-toast in this version of Mortal Kombat. You might even say he kinda sucks.

Liu Kang is strikingly boyish in this rendition of Mortal Kombat. The actor is sufficiently ripped to play the shirtless Bruce Lee stand-in. He still seemed “powerful but small” for this character that is one of Mortal Kombat’s most formidable. I guess the actor is actually in his 30s, maybe he’ll grow into the role for a sequel?

Kung Lao is also quite the baby-faced fighter. I didn’t really like his character design but he has one of the most bad-ass fatalities in the movie.

Mileena, Reiko, Kabal & Nitara round out Shang Tsung’s gang of baddies. They are all thinly developed and strictly serve to give the hero characters an opponent to fight.

Goro also makes an appearance in this movie. They could have done more with him but he was more terrifying than the ninja-turtle era rubber costumed Goro with floppy arms in the 1990’s MK movie.

And that leaves Scorpion. I spent part of the movie puzzling over the Cole Young character thinking he would eventually inherit the mantle of Scorpion. But nope. “I fought my way through hell to come back and kill you.” Scorpion is the vengeful demon-spirit version of the Samurai in the cold-open, hellbent on revenge against Sub Zero.

Final Thoughts

Mortal Kombat (2021) is a solid refresh of the 1990’s version and might kick off a set of sequels. The creators showed familiarity in the material with in-jokes and references. The Outworld Realm wasn’t as dark and dungeon-dwelling as it could have been but they still had good environments to fight in. I think my favorite is the completely frozen gym at the end. The characters are good/ not great and some fan favorites were conspicuously absent but teased for later introduction.

2021’s Mortal Kombat isn’t a good movie, it isn’t a bad version of Mortal Kombat either. If you sit down expecting a character study like Logan, you will be disappointed.

If you sit down with a bowl of popcorn for a nearly 2 hr Mortal Kombat video game commercial, you will have a good time.

Stranger Things Season 3 Trailer

Not..exactly.. arcade related but because I have so much affection for the franchise.. Stranger Things Season 3 Trailer dropped today! 

This makes me wish they'd take the next Star Wars Trilogy away from Rian Johnson and give it to the Duffer Brothers...   They have fun making these films and it comes through in the watching experience..

Wreck it Ralph 2, The Re-Wreckining..

Yeah, that’s not the real title. Get over it.
Spoilers within. Click away, if you care.

Wreck it Ralph hit on all cylinders for me as a family film. You’ve got arcade stuff, a heartwarming friendship and a story about finding a way to live in your own skin. Do we like going to work day in and day out? Do we like taking our the trash, cleaning toilets, & the general work of self-maintenance? No. These things are work and can be tedious and feel menial.

This goes for anything you do for 30 years'; even things you love.

The moral of Wreck it Ralph showed us that happiness can be found in sharing these menial moments with people that we love. With friends and family and loved ones that accept us for the people we are and often see us differently, more positively, than we see ourselves.

Wreck it Ralph 2 follows with a narrative about clingy-ness and co-dependency; about lying to friends about and general Pettiness. The movie has its moments but it is also a complete betrayal of the first, which I find unforgivable.

I played The VO1D Ralph Breaks The Internet Experience before seeing the movie and nothing was really spoiled in doing so. The V01D Experience was a 15 minute playable movie trailer for the 2 hr commercial that is Ralph Breaks the Internet. John C. Reilly is charming as Ralph and Sarah Silverman is ever-adorable as Vanellope. Gal Gadot is excellent in a role as Shank, an MMO racer analog to Vanellope.

Vanellope’s game breaks and there’s an ever-relatable scene for Arcade Collectors in that the arcade manufacturer is no longer in business and the replacement part is expensive - and on eBay.

Aside from this chuckle the movie explores Ralph & Vanellope’s relationship as they travel through the internet in search of the arcade part (or funds to buy it.) Ralph’s simpleton tendencies are turned up to 11 and Vanellope’s sweetness is turned down in favor of her own selfish pursuits. Ralph is over-controlling and Vanellope and Ralph are both dishonest to one another.

Logos! So many corporate logos!

Everyone’s a villain in a plot that mirrors the first in a frustrating way.

Imagine if - after watching Luke Skywalker destroy the death star and save the rebellion, the beginning of ESB showed Luke gassing up Death Star 2 and entering the coordinates for the new rebel base. In Wreck it Ralph 1 the tension is around Ralph leaving his game and the impact to the other characters in his absence that will result in the game being decommissioned. Here, Vanellope decides she is bored with Candy Crush and that it’s okay for her to just leave and be part of an apocalyptic MMO / GTA clone. They hand-waive it off will “they’ll never even miss me.” W. T. F.

The movie has math mistakes (27years vs 30years for Fix it Felix) and plot holes galore.. It’s as if someone at Disney asked Alexa to build them a movie script.

I give it two out of 5 Quarters. I preordered it on Apple TV as a purchase and should have rented, instead..